I share my effort.
Father
“ … Mom wouldn’t let you tell me she was dying?” There, the question was asked; it came pretty easy. Your eyes, Dad, filled with tears, “I don’t know; Ken or I should have … ” I let you off the hook then. Too early; too easily; perhaps too habitually. Always the way. There was one other question, “Why didn’t you tell me anyway?” but it remained both unasked and unanswered. For eight years, I didn’t ask you again. And then, without warning, you moved – from 350 miles away to 1050 miles away. And got sick. And died. And took my answers to the nether world. Had you lived, we’d have remained separate as ever, I imagine. In the nine years you’ve been gone, I wonder if I should have asked you one more time; maybe you’d have actually answered. I know not; I wonder still. |
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