Time to Focus Elsewhere

“The house is a bit of a mess.”

Ellie and I visited our house on the eve of her planned permanent return. It was good for of us to be in the house together. The boxes we brought joined haphazardly with the other stuff a friend had helped me move earlier.

Ellie assembled more stuff to bring home. Boxes and plastic bags, trailing to the door from the middle of the room, greeted me. Much of it was for the cats we’d be bringing home. Our friend Jane came to help.

“Didn’t you take anything home last night?” she asked.

“Yes, … ,” a little put off at the tone, “this is leftovers after moving the packed stuff you saw last night.”

“Yikes,” she replied.

“Yeah, well, let’s get started,” I said, feeling a little ‘yikes’ myself.

We loaded the cars and made a short parade going home.

The cats’ adjustment took about 20 seconds, amazing Jane, “They are really used to the two of you,” she said.

After pizza, Jane left in the late afternoon. Exhausted, Ellie and I watched the crystal ball drop in NYCIty and went to bed. “Happy New Year.” Indeed, it was; we were living together once again.

The real story here began the next morning with news that Ellie’s sister-in-law, who lives about 30 miles north of us, had gone to the hospital ER and been admitted to the ICU. Over the course of the next two days her condition worsened, we visited at her bedside with her two adult daughters and their husband and boy-friend, respectively. We were present at her bedside when she died, less than two days after being admitted to the hospital. She had been a healthy woman and her death shocked everyone.

These events brought three out-of-state sisters, one of their husbands, and several nephews to town for the funeral. We offered to put up the sister and brother-in-law from California ( who, for various reasons, all related to the brother and now deceased sister-in-law, had already been in town from California twice since Thanksgiving ) for the week they were here.

I had worked to get the house ready for Ellie’s return. That effort was mostly dealing with piles of paper that I had accumulated. I didn’t have to deal with boxes that were placed anywhere it seemed convenient. Even though our invitation to stay with us included the warning, “the house is a bit of a mess,” the effort both Ellie and I put in to get the house ready for our house-guests dwarfed my effort to get the house ready for Ellie!

Hosting the couple from California was very pleasant and we enjoyed seeing the sisters and nephews. Nonetheless, Ellie and I were already exhausted from our experience of Loretta’s cancer, hospice stay and death, and we had just begun re-learning the nuances of living together when this happened. The first two weeks of 2016 were not spent as we would have liked. The funeral and house guests required our attention to be placed elsewhere … to be focused outwardly.

But perhaps that was and is for the best.

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The Other Side of the World - #6

Payday fast approaches.  I don't live paycheck to paycheck, so it's usually not significant.  This payday happens to fall on the anniversary of the day I left for Thailand.  It also happens to be the day I finish paying for that trip.  This is entirely a coincidence, I assure you.  I'm not much of a planner.  But when I realized this, I experienced a moment of clarity.

I can spend an entire month of Minnesota winter relaxing  in paradise every year.

It's stupid, of course.  I should be planning for the future, or whatever.  Or is it stupid to slug it out here, when I could be living for the moment.  I looked through some of my photos, and was shocked by a traitorous eye attempting to tear up.  I put a quick stop to it, but I got the point.  I'm very happy here, but I want more.

I think I've decided I want to take a two week trip every January.  That's reasonable.  And it doesn't have to literally be to the other side of the world.  There are a lot of places I've never been.  When I got back last year, I actually started planning exactly that for next January, January 2017.  I'm thinking Colombia.  It's less than $400 round trip for the airfare, which is almost $1,000 less than my last trip.

In the larger scheme, I think I'm going to start looking at living somewhere warmer.  Now that I'm back to where I was a year ago, it seems reasonable to buy a car.  But maybe I really just want to live somewhere with good mass transit.  Somewhere the weather is bearable all year round.  Life is too big to pidgin hole myself.

And lets not count out the Powerball.  It's over a billion this week. : - )

Post-apocalyptic Storytelling Techniques

"The movie wasn't as good as the book."
  - Everyone

It's not true, of course.  Movies are movies, and books are books.  A movie can display amazing visuals, and music to capture emotion.  Put a face on it, in a way you can't imagine.  Books allow you to tailor the story to your imagination.  The story can form to you, like an old shoe.  And maybe there are times when your imagination is more profound than the actors and special effects artists can come up with.

Voicing the main character in Fallout 4 may seem like the obvious next step.  I never even questioned it in the Mass Effect series.  Then again, who's going to argue with Jennifer Hail as the voice of your protagonist.  But Mass Effect was the story of an individual.  You could decide overall demeanor and moral decisions, but you were always a bad ass captain of a star ship, here to save the day.

The thing is, previous Fallout games were open world.  They gave very little back story, and let you decide who you were.  This one was a fundamental departure to that.  I was told I was a lawyer, and a grieving widow.  And by the way, you're a hero, and need to take care of these people.

Sure, I could make a strong, dumb lawyer.  Wouldn't really be immersive though, would it?  And I guess I could have abandoned the people the game put me in charge of.

This approach is very much in line with the idea of, instead of deciding what my character will say, I decide the kind of thing she will say, then find out what that is as she says it.  It's fine for a game, but I don't think this game.  Fallout games have been games where I decide who I am, and have many paths to choose from.

One more minor complaint.  If they were going to voice my character, they should have voiced each persuasion attempt separately.  It is immersion breaking to see vastly different reactions to the same words and tone.  A poor persuasion attempt should sound awkward, and a successful should really lay it on.

Other people's opinions will obviously be different  I would like to make it clear, that I do think it was voiced well.  I have no problems with the voice acting.

Christmas Letter

Neither Ellie nor I are fans of the annual Christmas letter, preferring to send cards with hand-written ( in fountain pen, of course ) notes. Our year, however, has been very untypical and we felt it deserved to be told as a story. I share our Christmas letter.

The end of 2015 is coming. Even without Pope Francis’s visit, his Family Synod, and ISIS’s terror, it has been an auspicious year for Ellie and me. It began with Ellie’s living full-time with our dearest friend Loretta, who had been battling cancer since her surgery in 2011. By last December it became evident that Loretta could no longer manage her meds. Ellie’s help, which had been frequent, became full-time. Little did we know what that would ultimately mean. As Loretta’s ability to cope declined, I spent more time with them, retreating from more and more of my discretionary activities and many required household duties. In home hospice from the beginning of the year, Loretta moved to the hospice facility on July 22. Although Loretta wanted to die at home, her pain forced her to the facility, where she died peacefully on August 10. Ellie was alone with her. The experience has been both a blessing and a cross for everyone. Ellie and Loretta deepened their spiritual bond, I learned much about myself, and Loretta about letting herself be taken care of. There were many people who came to see Loretta at the Hospice facility. They came with so much love, neither the room nor Loretta could contain it. Their overflowing love blessed us. We arranged the funeral and burial, putting into motion the plan the two of them had conceived. The funeral was beautiful, all Loretta, and included a champagne toast at the lunch. We buried her a week later in a columbarium at the St John’s Abbey cemetery. Fifteen people drove the eighty miles to participate in the ritual. In spite of the difficulties, Ellie feels profoundly blessed and privileged by Loretta’s allowing her into her life and by the trust Loretta placed in her. That trust continues, as Ellie is Loretta’s Personal Representative ( i.e., executor ), so has charge of caring for the estate as well as the cats. These cats are two elderly, spoiled cats, which Ellie promised to take care of … and which have proven to keep her – and us – at Loretta’s. She continues to live there and I spend the huge bulk of my discretionary time with her there. Our plan is to adopt the cats as we bring closure to Loretta’s earthly life and as Ellie moves home. ( By the time you read this, she may be home. ) The estate project continues. Until that is further along, it will continue to “matter most” to both of us. Please pray for us as we will surely pray for you. In spite of challenges and difficulties, we cling to the joy of the Gospel ( “All will be well; all will be well.” Julian of Norwich ) and wish you and yours a Christmas and Christmas Season that is Holy and joy-filled, and a 2016 that is filled with love, wonder and awe. Love,

If you would like to comment but don't care to use the comment field, send an email to  walter.comments@inkfounta.in. I would enjoy hearing from you.

Technical Difficulties

The other day, I casually browsed to this blog to find out what Walter had written.  What I found was a 404.  I could have started making snide comments about their technical support, but that person is me.  So, a bit of research, a chat session with my registrar, and it became obvious that the problem was my DNS.  One more chat session, and a technician admitted that they had lost some DNS entries.

I chatted with four of their people.  All had a picture of themselves up, and all happened to be hot chicks.  What are the odds?  The last young lady was able to put back some of the entries, and I was able to put back others.  The blog is back up, as you may have noticed.

But our email is another matter.  We chose Microsoft to manage it, for one very good reason; it was free.  Why do they manage personal domain email for free, when everyone else is charging?  They didn’t know either, and started charging soon after we signed up.  We were grandfather in though, which was good.  Until a week ago, that is.  The server information, needed to setup your DNS, can be found on the management page.  The management page is for paid customers only.

I don’t blame them.  I’d charge for my service too.  That does leave us with four options.  We could pay Microsoft, we could pay someone else, we could manage our own email, or we could give up.  It’s not worth paying for, to me.  Managing my own email is not something I’m interested in doing either.  Looks like it’s time to make a strategic retreat.

Time Off

I am taking some time off. 

Today's post is brief, next week I share something already written but I think will be of interest, and I am taking New Year's week off in its entirely. I urge each of you to do the same ( except for ... you know who you are ). 

Spend time with your family, your friends; be sure to tell you you love them. Because you do not because I told you to.

I wish each and every one of you joy-filled and holy Christmas and Christmas Season, and a 2016 that is filled with wonder and mystery.

If you would like to comment but don't care to use the comment field, send an email to  walter.comments@inkfounta.in. I would enjoy hearing from you.

Bringing Wisdom to the Role of Will Executor

“I suppose you’d toss it; that’s your answer to everything.”

The work of finalizing our dear friend Loretta’s earthly life has been a tedious process. It has been tedious for me and I haven’t been the one doing it, for the most part. Ellie has been doing it and doing it ( I don’t mind saying so ) rather well. She has brought a level of wisdom to the procedure that I am sure I would not have had.

Loretta was nothing if not organized, and, boy, was she organized! Ellie has found many boxes with a handwritten comment on the side, purportedly describing what’s inside. And, viola!, that is what she found inside. And she has found things ranging from pictures of her trip to Greece, to slides ( yes, transparencies ) of her two trips to Israel, to undeveloped film canisters, to papers documenting some family
history … birth certificates, marriage licenses, death certificates and the like. Ellie’s found things with huge sentimental value to Loretta. These things strike an emotional chord for Ellie; but they are, ultimately, of no value to her. As mentioned previously, Loretta was a voracious reader; there have been enough books to both float a battleship and choke a horse.

We’ve taken over 50 pounds of paper to be shredded and I’m not sure we’re done. Ellie has carefully decided that each of the sheets is not worth saving. She has set aside a fairly significant number of pictures, planning to offer these to Loretta’s nephew. She has asked my opinion about something, I’ve given it, and she has accused me of insensitivity, “I suppose you’d toss it; that’s your answer to everything.” There is more truth in that than I’d like to admit, and it’s her willingness evaluate everything that marks the wisdom that I say she is bringing to this endeavor. I am almost certain I would not be doing that.

Organizationally, while there have not been glitches at every turn, there have been enough glitches to keep it “interesting.” Our attorney failed to send us copies of various communications mailed on our behalf. Different people at the financial institution that held Loretta’s investments gave us different answers to the same questions. The nephew who lives in Chicago decided he would take the care after initially declining it. When I called our Department of Motor Vehicles to see about transferring the title the answer was, “Talk to the Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles, that’s where the car will be titled.” When I spoke to the Illinois department, she asked whether the nephew will have the necessary paperwork to drive the car to Illinois, “after all, it’s not his name on the title.”

Good things, too, have happened.

Communication with our attorney and the investment company is improved.

Loretta’s estate sale is scheduled for next month. A real estate agent recommended to us will be selling Loretta’s condominium after the estate sale.

About the cats, the friend of a friend of a friend of ours ( or , perhaps, the friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of ours … I get confused ) is looking to replace a cat. Via this chain of friendship, or somehow, she heard about Loretta’s cats and we are in the process of exploring with her the possibility of her having them. We pray for a successful outcome there. Please pray with us.

If you would like to comment but don't care to use the comment field, send an email to  walter.comments@inkfounta.in.